When You\'re Evil

When the devil is too busy
And Death\'s a bit too much,
They call on me, by name you see,
For my special touch.

To the gentleman I\'m Mis Fortune.
To the ladies I\'m Sir. Prise.
But call me by any name,
Any way it\'s all the same..

I\'m the fly in your soup
I\'m the pebble in your shoe
I\'m the pea beneath your bed
I\'m the bump on every head.
And I\'m the peel on which you slip
I\'m a pin in every hip
I\'m the thorn in your side
Makes you wriggle and writhe

And it\'s so easy when you\'re evil
This is the life, you see, the devil tips his hat to me,
I do it all because I\'m evil
And I do it all for free..
Your tears are all the pay I\'ll ever need.

While there\'s children to make sad
While there\'s candy to be had
While there\'s pockets left to pick
While there\'s grannies left to trip down the stairs,
I\'ll be there, I\'ll be waiting round the corner,
It\'s a game I\'m glad I\'m in it,
\'cause there\'s one born every minute.

And it\'s so easy when you\'re evil
This is the life, you see, the devil tips his hat to me,
I do it all because I\'m evil
And I do it all for free
Your tears are all the pay I\'ll ever need.
And I do it all for free
Your tears are all the pay I\'ll ever need.
And I do it all for free
Your tears are all the pay I\'ll ever need,

It gets so lonely being evil.
What I do to see a smile,
Even for a little while.
And no one loves you when you\'re evil...

I\'m lying through my teeth!
Your tears are all the pay I\'ll ever need.